What a dummy

DAPNET Forums Archive › Forums › The Front Porch › Stories, Poetry, Jokes, Etc. › What a dummy

Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • September 22, 2011 at 3:41 pm #43064
    Baystatetom
    Participant

    Just caught myself waving to my steers as I drove by my pasture.

    September 22, 2011 at 3:43 pm #69324
    Andy Carson
    Moderator

    I was on my riding lawnmower the other day and yelled “whoa” to stop. I think that’s more dumb…

    September 22, 2011 at 4:48 pm #69319
    dominiquer60
    Moderator

    Sometimes while climbing a hill with my 4 cylinder half ton truck, I catch myself clucking or wishing that encouragement with a goad to the tailgate was both possible and effective.

    September 22, 2011 at 4:48 pm #69318
    near horse
    Participant

    Andy –

    I got in the habit of saying “whoa” to a lot of things – more like a “whoa Nelly”. Trying to break that ’cause sometimes it’s when I’m doing other stuff with my horses – lucky I don’t have Nelly.

    September 22, 2011 at 5:41 pm #69326
    Baystatetom
    Participant

    I tell my kids whoa all the time. One time when my daughter was pushing the cart in the grocery store I told her “gee over a bit.”

    September 22, 2011 at 5:59 pm #69320
    dominiquer60
    Moderator

    another good one Tom. In college we were all used to asking our horses to move over in their stalls or on cross ties by making a kissing sound. We would catch ourselves doing this to each other in the tack room when we were busy cleaning tack or even in line for lunch, sometimes it would seem normal par for course and sometimes one of us would catch what we did and have a good chuckle about our habits.

    September 22, 2011 at 6:10 pm #69323
    Tim Harrigan
    Participant

    Erika, just don’t carry your goad with you when I am around when you are in that frame of mind.

    September 22, 2011 at 6:15 pm #69325
    LostFarmer
    Participant

    We were leaving for somewhere and I told the kids to kennel up. Then patted my wife on the backside and said over. About lost wife and my life for that one. Didn’t even know what I had done at first.

    September 22, 2011 at 10:52 pm #69322
    Robert MoonShadow
    Participant

    When I first adopted my dog Nellie, she was very timid and scared. I had her on a leash, while hiking up a trail to camp to do trailwork. I was leading the big draft/pack mule Ellie. Nellie would walk to the end of the leash, feel pressure, and lay down. I’d tap her w/ my foot in mid-stride, and say “Go, Nellie!”. She’d take off at a scared run, Ellie mule would hear “Whoa, Ellie!” and 1600 lb.s of red mule would come to an instant stop. After about the 4th time of having my sockets dislocated, I renamed ‘Nellie’ to ‘Nell’. It was now ‘Git along, Nell!”. Knuckles still drag on the ground, though.

    September 25, 2011 at 1:59 am #69321
    Joshua Kingsley
    Participant

    my two kids are quite accustom to being given driving commands in all kinds of situations. It was somthing else though when I was driving them through the toy aisle at the store the other day…. Things a teamster does with out even a thought.

    September 28, 2011 at 3:33 am #69327
    Mac
    Participant

    Gosh Im glad Im not the only one who gee-haws my wife and talks to my truck like I do my team! I remember a few years ago, and Im not that old, either, daddy bought a tractor, and I was using it to plow up a rough patch of ground, and hollered whoa and pulled back on the wheel till it dawned on me it wouldnt work!
    Mac

    February 2, 2012 at 8:37 am #69328
    HesterChan
    Participant

    since we are talking about dummy things…. 🙂

    Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

    A: No.

    Q: Did you check for blood pressure?

    A: No.

    Q: Did you check for breathing?

    A: No.

    Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

    A: No.

    Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

    A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk, in a jar.

    Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less?

    A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.

    December 29, 2012 at 9:42 am #69329
    labixiaoxin
    Participant

    China Swimwear Manufacturer + wholesale bikini swimwear
    Do you love summer? The answer must be yes to most swimwear shopkeepers and China swimwear manufacturer. If you are shopkeeper or retailer, just view more fashion swimwear and bikini on Dear-Lover wholesale bikini swimwear. The online website will totally surprised you!

  • Author
    Posts
Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.