Unsupportive Family/Friends

[dlskidmore]

@near horse 28616 wrote:

Lane makes a good point about language

With new folks, language starts at the introduction. What do you tell folks that ask you what you do? “Farmer”, “Horse Farmer”, “Small Business Owner”, “Farmwife”, “Housewife”?

…”Historical Agriculture Re-enactor”, “Agricultural Preservationist”… 😉

[Glenn Rogers]

Wow, a seemingly simple problem has gotten a bunch of very well thought out and incitefull responses. I hope mine comes across half as well. This is my first post ever on any web site, in fact your dilemma is what got me to register so that I could respond.
When I was 41 years old I quit my job and went to medical school. The number of people that thought I was crazy is legion. Now I am 58yrs old and I have 2500 patients that are very happy that I did, they all truely love me. This is not because I am a great scientist/physician, it is because I love people and taking care of them. This is what I am supposed to be doing.
Do what is in your heart and you will never go wrong. Will it be financially successful? Who knows, work hard, work smart, and enjoy your labors. Then what happens, happens. You will be happier.
How does it come that I am posting this on a draft animal farming site? One of my patients farms with horses. They had me out 5-6 times for group drives/ plow days/ canning days. Oh no! I want a small place, a couple of horses, maybe a wagon/cart to go to town in, “nothing serious you understand, just somthing to have fun with”, maybe a few acres that I can crop, I can take the produce to town in the wagon I buy….the point here is that all of you are actually doing this stuff and you are only limited by your imagination.
And me? Well my wife thinks I am absolutely nuts, but that is ok, she lived throught it before, she should be fine.

[dlskidmore]

@Glenn Rogers 28697 wrote:

They had me out 5-6 times for group drives/ plow days/ canning days. Oh no! I want a small place, a couple of horses, maybe a wagon/cart to go to town in, “nothing serious you understand, just somthing to have fun with”, maybe a few acres that I can crop, I can take the produce to town in the wagon I buy…

Welcome Glenn. I’ll be on the edge of the “hobby farm” side you’re on. I have no confidence in my ability to turn a dollar at this business, and will be keeping my day job until we have enough debt settled to quit work and work the place full time.

[drafthorsey]

Maybe your only problem is you can’t fix a tractor.

Work is like love a friend once told me … ‘No one really wants you to be happy in it, they want you to be as miserable as they think they are’. For me I’ve had a lot of family tell me all the mistakes in life I’ve made while they wave their forks and knives eating the beef and vegtables I raised. I have a place in the city, but I live here on the farm. Sure its costly to have these big horses around, and sure I’ve gotta put in work elsewhere to make sure they get fed. From the folks with a bigger house, fancier car, and that all important ‘community status’ I get all kinds of free advice. I’d love to just once tell some of them, “Hey after the financial sector collapsed there’s no retirement anymore, so what do you want to be doing in your ’70’s?”

I’ve fallen down a lot too. But I’ve sought out what I needed out of life and frankly they didn’t show up until I had it. Had the same folks call and remind me how I could be doin’ it different. Different being their way. My kids are grown and they still call on the weekend. They can tell on the phone when I’m working in the city or back at the farm. Seems to me everything takes a lot of practice in life. Even liking that face your shaving.

Dust off that old children’s book about the Red Hen and give it another read.

[LongViewFarm]

@dlskidmore 28607 wrote:

A character in a book I read once said “Never do anything for only one reason.” Although impractical to apply to everything in life, I try to consider this in my major decisions.

• I want to be self employed in a kid-friendly environment, and raise my own kids while still contributing to family finances.
• I have my mother’s genetics, and if I don’t quit the desk job and do more manual labor, my job will eventually kill me. (Her heart disease was treatable, but because of the heart disease the surgeon wouldn’t remove her tumor, and the side effects of the chemo alongside the tumor rendered inoperable by radiation is killing her.)
• I want to do something I love doing. (Gardening, animal training.)
• I want to eat healthier.
• I want to can/freeze more of my own food.
• In my farming research I read an interesting article about the overhead of equipment caused horse farmers to make more dollars per acre than tractor farmers, and generally with better hours since the horses needed a midday rest. (Although they tend to work fewer acres and have less total profit, I see the lower risk as a major factor.)

Great list- could not have said it better.
Like you, I am slowly building into the small farm local agribusiness. Small growth every year is my goal. I do what I can with horses, but not as much as I’d like. I feel sometimes I have to explain my perceived irrationality twice. Once for becoming a teacher, and again for farming with horses. I don’t know which career path is crazier, but here’s an old saying I keep in mind every time folks get offended: “those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind, don’t matter.” It’s overly simple, but lets me walk away from otherwise frustrating conversations laughing to myself.

I have to agree with Lane too about avoiding judgmental tone. Hopefully we can win over folks as customers and drive the localvore market farther to better support us crazyfolk?

[Author]

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