Hunting dog story

[near horse]

I’m going to tell a hunting dog story that’s meant to be told w/ some expletives but to stay w/in the rules of the group I’ll use abbreviations and you can read in what you’d like.

There was this fellow that liked to spend his free time hunting quail w/ his friends. All of his hunting buddies seemed to always one-up him. They had nicer guns, fancier pickups, and better trained hunting dogs.

Then one day the hunter heard of a trainer who was reputed to have some of THE BEST bird dogs in the world and decided to investigate. When at the trainer’s facility, he said “Show me the best dog you’ve got. Money is no object.” Well the trainer brings out a nice looking dog and tells the hunter that this is his best dog and it will cost him $20,000.

“$20,000!” exclaims the hunter. “What is so special about this dog to warrant that high price?”

At that, the trainer takes both the hunter and the dog out into an adjacent field on his property where there are some quail. Immediately, the dog starts sniffing around and then comes to point at a nearby bush. The dog then stomps his foot 2 times.

The hunter says “That’s it? He found some birds. Big deal. That doesn’t make him worth $20,000.”

The trainer then tells him that not only did the dog find the birds but it is also telling him how many quail are in the bush. In this case, two. The trainer then flushes the birds and sure enough 2 quail fly out – BOOM BOOM. Got em’.

The hunter can’t believe it. “Do it again” he says. So the trainer sends the dog off and pretty quickly it comes to point at another bush and stomps his foot 3 times. The hunter then says “so there should be 3 quail in there right?”

“Yep” says the trainer. They flush them out and BOOM,BOOM,BOOM. Three quail fly out and they shoot all three.

Well the hunter can’t believe what he’s seeing but he has to have this dog to outdo his buddies. So he shells out the $20,000 and can’t wait to show off to his hunting partners the next day.

The following morning he takes his buddies out to show off his dog. They go out into the brush in their favorite hunting area and the dog starts sniffing around and sweeping back and forth. Then suddenly he gets excited, picks up a stick and hops on the hunter’s leg and starts humping it. The hunter gets mad and kicks him away while his friends laugh and laugh. They try one more time but the results are the same -the dog picks up a stick and then starts humping the hunter’s leg.

The hunter is both humiliated and angry and immediately races back to the trainer and demands his money back. “This dog isn’t worth $20 let alone $20,000. All he’ll do is run around with a stick and hump my leg!”

Calmly, the trainer says “You can have your money back if you’d like but this dog is still the best bird dog I’ve got. You just didn’t understand what was happening. Remember, when there were 2 quail, he stomped 2 times; 3 quail, 3 stomps. By running around with a stick in his mouth and humping your leg, he was trying to tell you that in that bush “there were more f..kin quail than you could shake a stick at!”:)

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