I’m a Cowboy Baby

[Plowboy]

When I was a teenager and into my early twenties along with working horses I liked to ride some too. I had no formal rider training just get on and go. My Levi’s were like velcro and whenever someone I knew had a horse they couldn’t ride I would ride it for them. Young, rugged and no fear. I had one myself that had a new trick up his sleeve every time I went riding so I was always on guard.
Well my ex’s father went to a sale and bought a sharp Palomino gelding all shod and ready to go on the trails with a young girl riding him in the ring. That was on Friday night. Sunday night we went over to their farm for dinner and I went to help with their chores in the dairy barn. Her brother , sister’s boyfriend, and a family friend/ horselogger were there. Her brother says, “we’re goin over to the other farm to ride that new horse tonight before supper. You game?”. “Yeah I’ll go”, I said. We finished chores and piled in a pickup and went over to the horse barn. The horse caught easy and we saddled him up like nothing. In the middle of the barnyard the brother and the friend each had a leadrope on him to hold him. The sisters boyfriend who is not a horse person tried to get on twice but each time the horse flinched so he gave up. The eyes turned to me, ” I’ll ride him” I said. I stuck one foot in the stirrup and he didn’t flinch this time. I threw the other leg over and got set in the saddle and stirrups. I sat there for a minute or two letting him get used to me where he stood calmly. All of sudden without taking a step forward or back the horse reared up and over coming down on top of me! Well, he drove the saddle horn into my stomach just below my belly button. He rolled back and forth a few times because a horse can’t get up on his back. Finally he got on his feet and took off bucking across the barnyard higher than any bareback bronc I’d seen on TV. Must be his tranquilizers wore off. I layed there for a few minutes trying to catch my breath and looked over to my right. There was a rock the size of my head right next to me in the grass. If I had been a little farther over I may not have ever walked again. The boys helped me to my feet with their rope burned hands and I hobbled over to where they caught the horse. We looked at each other in hatred for a few minutes and I wishing I hadn’t left my new 44 magnum in my pickup at the other place.
We went back over for supper and I hobbled in last. The ex looked at me and said what happened? Her brother said ” He tried to ride that great horse Dad bought the other day. Immediately she was pissed because she always wanted to be around for stuff like that. We ate and went home.
That night my everything hurt so as I tried to get comfortable there was alot of moaning and groaning and no sympathy. After about an hour of me groaning she rolled over and proceeded to give me a scolding. “NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HADN’T “FELL” OFF THAT HORSE”!!!! I rolled over looked her in the eyes and said, ” I didn’t fall off that horse. I rode him to the ground. My feet were still in the stirrups when I hit the ground” and rolled back over. Thinking to myself for a few seconds I borrowed a line from a then popular Kid Rock song. I rolled back over looking her in the eyes , I said, ” I’M A COWBOY BABY”. She was speechless and I soon drifted off to sleep. I hobbled around all summer from that incident and still have trouble with one hip. I Cowboyed Up and went to work the next day. My little midnight speech turned into a family joke after she told them the story. To this day although I have ridden I don’t enjoy it like I used to. My Dad always says,”just like a dog or a colt or a little kid your never scared of something until you get hurt”. Now I’d rather drive them until they’re tired and then go for a ride. I’m not sure if this is funny or not but Iron Rose made me think of it with his bulldogging story.

[dominiquer60]

The punchline is hilarious, but on the serious side I am glad that you missed that rock because its great having you around here.

[jen judkins]

There have been many, many incidences where that type of flip over in a western saddle has killed people. The horn crushes the aorta…death is fast…you, my friend were lucky!

[Anonymous]

Good story:) As a real cowboy you should have rolled over and aksed your ex for some Rodeo Sex….. that’s where right in the middle of things you call her by the wrong name and see if you can hang on for the full 8 seconds. Worst part is, there ain’t no clowns around to jump in and save you.;)

[Plowboy]

Thanks alot Erika. Jen I almost wish you hadn’t brought that up but thanks for the info. Randi I was in no shape to get involved in anything like that. I’ve had a notion to get a good ranch broke horse someday but for now working a full time job, running my business along with some farming I don’t have the time for a saddle horse. It used to be an adrenalin rush to ride a bucking horse and I probably wouldn’t have minded falling off of one. But it really sucks to get 1200#s of hate on top of you. I’m guessing that it wasn’t his first time over and probably the reason he was at the sale! Just a guess!

[Author]

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