The End of an Era

[Carl Russell]

Today I built an alter for my horses. The mare, near thirty, has been on the farm since 1987. I stopped working her this last February when the snow got too deep. She has been having trouble swallowing, and lost a lot of weight this winter.

The gelding came to the farm as a three month old stud colt in 1993. A couple of years ago he slipped while pulling a loaded bobsled, and was never the same since. The injury caused his pelvis to rotate, and the internal irritation eventually manifested into an infection that was too deep to treat effectively. i would work him off and on over the last couple of years, but he didn’t come through this winter well either.

I have been hemming and hawing for two years about what I should do with these horses. I have fulfilled a lot of plans at the helm of that team. But as we look ahead with all the things on our plate, and the uncertain times ahead, it just came to me the other day, that now was the time.

Until then I couldn’t make up my mind where to dig holes, or who to hire, or when to arrange with the vet. But all at once it was clear that I needed to take them up into the woods where the ledges are covered with thick hemlock. The rock outcrops are terraced, with little passageways around the steep rock faces, and points that jut out through the saplings to provide overlooks to the valley below.

We started out from the barn just before the sun started to warm the air. Although they weren’t in harness they moved as well as they could in their respective conditions, as they had hundreds of times before. The gelding, always willing to work, pushed up the incline like he meant business. The mare, nonchalant as ever, nipped and nibbled on branches as we climbed. As she munched a fresh spruce twig, my senses were overwhelmed by the smell of the pungent sap.

I hadn’t realized before I started out what a parade this would be. We passed by fuelwood piles, the wagon parked by the sawmill, and past the sugar house, all moved by them, or built as a result of their use. As we climbed on, up through the sugarbush, I realized how many memories were deposited along the trail, this last trail that I had chosen.

Well at any rate, we finally got to the place I had selected. I laid them to rest in a couple of hollows and buried them at the base of some ledges on a high terrace near one of my favorite lookouts. When I was done and finally sat out on the rock point gathering my thoughts, I distinctly felt their spirits rise.

It’s interesting how we can find these places on the land that when we are there our thoughts are clear. I have visited there many times before, but now I have dedicated it to the horses.

I came away with a great feeling of freedom from this event. There is a young team in the barn, with lots of energy, and potential, and the team that got me to where I am is resting in the perfect place. I am so pleased.

Carl

[jen judkins]

Wow…Carl…it is hard to know whether to cry or cheer. I felt the need to do both reading your post. It is a very important stewardship we are responsible for with our animals. Its not just about feeding them and caring for them, but it is at the end about providing dignity and brevity to their going. I’ve had only alittle experience with this (more than I’d like), and I have not been brave enough to be part of the end, except to watch and grieve and then move on. So my thoughts are with you and I wish for you success with your new youngsters. Jennifer.

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